Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
