It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
