dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize