I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
