I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
