Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
