? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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