my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
