If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
