I'm going to jail i love you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
