I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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