ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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