He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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