the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
