If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
