We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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