Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
