i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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