and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She just used a chaser for red wine.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize