just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
