I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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