Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
