I CAN MOONWALK!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have post one night stand depression
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
