Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
