I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
