why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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