Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
