Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize