beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize