took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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