You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize