Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
