Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
