Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
