Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
