Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
