Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
