dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
