did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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