nut hugger
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
