I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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