Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
