Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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