she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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