Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
