Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
