I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
