office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize