We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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