She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize