At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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