I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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