**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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