never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
