Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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