the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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