Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
