your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize