Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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