I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
