so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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