Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
