Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
