oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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