Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
