After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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