After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
