I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
