My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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